{Home} for the Holidays

I never quite realized how important the term "home" is to me until recently.  Don't get me wrong...I have always known that home is my center, it is my respite and refuge, a place for me to unwind and recharge.  Home is a place I crave when I have been gone for too long.  However, I am pretty sure I took for granted the stability and comfort that my home has provided me, especially during the holidays. 

Mike and I found ourselves starting to look at real estate about a year ago.  We were still debating on where we would ultimately send Lila to school and started to weigh our options.  During this process we made the final decision on where she would go to elementary school and were happy staying at our current house for the meantime.  However, it wasn't but a handful of months later and I was back looking at homes online rather consistently and low and behold a house caught my eye.  This wasn't just any house, it was a beautiful, older home with amazing amounts of character, a house I could see us living in until we are too old to climb the stairs, a house that Lila would eventually bring her family home to stay someday.  It could be our forever home!  I daydreamed about it often and finally an open house was scheduled and we went for a visit and then another, and another, and another!

Mike and I had endless conversations about what we should do.  Is this something we really want to do?  Are we ready for such a different house?  We would be leaving our comfortable life in our 7 year old home to live in a house that is more than 10 times older, would we be happy there?

Ultimately we decided that we were ready to take the plunge.  So, in mid-November we put an offer in on the house and it was accepted!  We worked around the clock to get our house ready to be put on the market, we did this a little backwards, and within a week our house was up on the market, too.

Things were moving really fast and the holidays were approaching quickly, too.  We had been presented with the opportunity to take possession of the new house a week before Christmas, another decision we needed to discuss and think long and hard about.  If we stayed at the other house through the holidays we needed to be mindful of the amount of decorations we had out, we couldn't put our presents under the tree, and we also wanted to be really sensitive to the fact that it was Christmas time and Lila deserves to have a normal Christmas.  The idea of moving into the new house before Christmas also became more and more appealing because trying to keep a house "show" ready with a 4 year old, two dogs, and the holidays is a challenge!  While we knew we were going to add some extra stress to ourselves, we made the decision to move into the house before Christmas. 

The official For Sale sign

Then the chaos really set in!  We were fortunate enough to have a friend loan us a snowmobile trailer to get some of our stuff packed up before we had the movers come and do all the big stuff.  We had Lila's Christmas concert at school on Saturday, December 14th, which happened to be the day that we got access to the house.  We had packed up a full trailer load and dropped it off on our way to Lila's concert.  We were excited to watch Lila's concert and then invite the family that came to see her perform to come and see the house! 

Loading up the trailer

I should apologize now for the length of this post because I intend to intertwine all of what we had going on during December into this one post as it is really the only way I can keep it all straight!  Lila's concert is such a darling little show that the preschool puts on each year.  When we saw it last year she was in the group of the youngest kids, this year she was in the oldest group, it was hard for me to watch knowing that she will be in the "all" school performance next year.  She is growing up too fast!

All ready to sing her heart out!

Lila is in the second row - second in from the far left!

Each of the groups sing two songs and then they bring the 3 year old kids back out to sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" as a whole preschool!  I continue to be amazed that Lila stands right up on the stage and sings without any stage fright!  If she doesn't continue to perform in some capacity I think Mike and I will be surprised!

After the show was over we loaded up and headed over to the new house with family in tow.  This was the first time Mike and I were going to be in the house since the offer was accepted and since the other people had moved out.  We were equal parts excited and anxious to have everyone there, it was all becoming very real!

Our new home!

We eagerly opened the door to the house and *boom* it hit me, like a ton of bricks, the emotion of what we were doing.  I did my best to hold it all together while we were touring our family around, but my heart was pounding and the nerves were starting to take over.  Have you ever had one of those moments in your life where you had an expectation for the way something was going to turn out and it doesn't measure up?  Of course you have, we all have, but this was different.  This time I couldn't even tell you what my expectations were...they just weren't met.  The house was still the beautiful house we fell in love with, but it wasn't the home that we had toured so many times, the home that wrapped its arms around the previous family, the home that I was anxious to make our memories in...it was a big, empty, cold, and dirty house.

Thankfully we have the best family in the world.  They didn't have quite the expectations built up that I did that morning and they got it!  They completely understood our vision and were elated for us as we take this huge step in our lives.  For that very moment, they balanced my angst with their happiness!

After our family left, Jason and Jen were so kind to take Lila for awhile, Mike and I began unloading the trailer into the house.  We made an agreement with Lila that we would unload the trailer, but that the first thing we would physically unpack was the Christmas tree and we would put it up together that evening.  We wanted to be sure that no matter what Christmas wasn't short-changed due to this move, so it was the first priority!

Enjoying a snow date with her cousins!

I picked Lila up from Jason and Jen's and got her settled in for a nap at the old house while Mike continued to work away at the new house unloading the rest of the trailer.  After he was done he came and met us at the old house and picked Lila, myself, and the pups up to go to the new house to get the Christmas tree put up!  We didn't have much in the house yet, but we did have card tables, so we placed them in the dining room and had Sweet Basil's pizza for our first meal in the new place. 

Dinner in style!

With the way everything else was going, it would only be appropriate that our Christmas tree wouldn't light correctly.  It has worked without any issue for 7 years, but this time we had a lighting issue.  Mike plugged in the two portions of the tree and everything except for the very top of the tree lit up.  Of course!  In the grand scheme of things it didn't matter...Lila now had her Christmas tree and Santa was sure to know where to find us now!

The first Christmas tree in our new house!

The whole family!

Smooch!

In the spirit of honesty, from this point on I was a wreck as the emotions of this decision were really starting to sink in.  I can smile about this now, but this particular day kicked off a whirlwind of emotions and insecurity for me...I was a literal mess from December 14th through New Years.  However, moments such as the picture below were the warm moments in my heart reminding me that, despite all of the chaos, we made the right decision.

Our winter wonderland!

December 18th was the day the movers were scheduled to come.  Considering the house wasn't as ready as we expected we had a lot to do between Monday and Wednesday of that week.  Thank goodness we were able to find two companies to come in and clean the carpets and another company to come in and do a whole "move-in" clean for us.

Seeing the moving truck pull into the driveway was surreal for many reasons.  The first, I couldn't believe we were leaving our house.  We had made this decision and it felt right way down deep in my heart, but it was agonizing actually doing it.  Second, I mentioned borrowing that snowmobile trailer above...that is the same trailer we used to move into our house on Hemlock.  We didn't hire movers, we did it all ourselves, and quite honestly...I think we only had one trailer full, we didn't have a lot.  This time we needed movers to move us out.  We are a family now, we have built a life in this house and we have accumulated stuff, enough stuff that movers were needed for this next move.  Wow!

Two Guys & A Truck (and that is exactly what we got!)

Our movers were Mike and Mac.  They were super nice guys who made a sad day a little brighter!  We knew we were likely spending the whole day with these guys, so it could have been really awful if they weren't friendly.  It took very little time for them to get to work and before I knew it the house was starting to look really different...empty.



Moving out

While our home on Hemlock started to transform into an empty house, the house on Vernon started to transform from an empty house into our new home.  The movers listened to our every request.  They placed things exactly where we wanted them, went up and down the stairs a hundred times, and helped us put the beginnings of our life together in our new house. 



Priorities!  The TV was one of the first things moved in!

The beginnings of Lila's room!

Welcome to our family room!

While Mike finished up with the movers I ran Lila across town to dance.  We wanted to make sure that we didn't disrupt her life more than necessary with the move.  The move alone was going to be a lot, but we wanted to preserve her day to day as much as possible.  So, off to dance we went!  I will never forget sitting next to my good friend Monica while the girls were off dancing, I was exhausted and I think I even smelled a little from all of the work we had done that day!  I wanted to break down bawling right there, she was safe to me.  I was so confused by my emotions...why was I feeling this way about all of this?  Instead, I shared with her where we were in the process, hoping that my feelings were just the fact that we had, had a couple of very long days.  After dance it was back to the Vernon house to check in on Mike and the movers and get Lila's room situated for her very first night in the new house!  I was a bit anxious about how our first night would go, but it went without a hitch.  Lila snuggled right into her new room and we didn't hear a peep from her until morning.  Success!

As I have mentioned before, Christmas was mushed up among all of this craziness, too!  So, December 19th - 21st was spent unpacking boxes, but we were also preparing for our first Christmas celebration on the 22nd.  So, just as we would get one box unpacked, I would turn around and wrap a box! 

Definitely the preferred type of box under this tree!

Our Christmas traditions are generally kicked off with the Sunday before Christmas at my Grandma Smith's house!  My Grandma is always more concerned about having us all be able to attend vs. having our Christmas on Christmas Day, which we appreciate with our busy schedules during the holiday.  It is always fun to kick off Christmas here as it is a full house and there is no shortage of laughter! 

Cousins!

Grandma & her great grand-girlies!

The Smith-Eddins-Saylor's

Grandma & (almost) all of her grandkids!

Santa Baby!

The kiddos opening their presents!

A princess pillow for a Princess!

After we finished up in Lamont we headed back home and got Lila situated at Dad and Laura's for a sleepover.  The next morning would find us heading to their house for our family Christmas and they were happy to have Lila stay the night so she could wake up in the morning to a tree full of presents!

The next morning brought lots of excitement...Grampa and Laura are always good at present buying!  These three girls sure don't want for much, they must have been good little girls all year! 

Stockings...check!

Laura, Lila, & Bitty Baby!

A beautiful desk from Dreaming Bear for Lila's new bedroom!

Lila, Grampa, & her new Unicorn!

Pretty ballerinas!

If you can believe this...it was December 24th, Christmas Eve, and we were hosting our first gathering at our new house!  That was 6 days after we moved in!  At this point I think we were officially crazy, but we truly wouldn't have had it any other way.  We have created the tradition in which we celebrate with my Mom and her husband, Terry, on Christmas Eve morning and it is historically at our house...so again, keeping with tradition, that is just what we did!



Christmas Eve morning in our living room!

Happy girls!

Even the puppies got in on the action!

The other tradition we have each year is to go to Jason and Jen's house on Christmas Eve night to enjoy soup and the company of our family.  It has grown in the past years from just being my Mom's side of the family to what it is now...a mixed bag of families coming together to celebrate the season!  This particular tradition is my most favorite tradition of the whole holiday.  It isn't about any of the "hype" of Christmas, it is truly about the people you call family and the spirit of the season!  There is good food, good company, and it always ends in singing!  It is the perfect end to Christmas Eve and we find ourselves heading home with anticipation of Santa!

With the move we continued to reassure Lila that Santa wouldn't forget us now that we were living in the new house.  Low and behold, he didn't miss us!  In fact, I would say Santa maybe overcompensated a little this year because he wanted to be sure Lila had a Merry Christmas among all the changes at home!

She must have been on Santa's nice list!

Happily opening!

The true magic of Christmas is in that smile!

Add another princess to the toy box!

And last, but not least, we spent Christmas afternoon at Wayne & Elaine's!  This was the perfect way to end our crazy Christmas schedule.  Once again we enjoyed a yummy meal, present opening, and good company!  We weren't in any huge rush to leave as we didn't have anywhere else to go, it was nice to be able to just sit back and relax!  Unfortunately my pictures from that day didn't turn out all that well, but I was able to snap a good picture of Maria and Dan! 

Maria should officially have her kitchen outfitted!

As you can tell from all the pictures above, we had a wonderful Christmas!  We are beyond blessed to be surrounded by people that love us and we are very close in proximity so we can celebrate the holidays together and continue to create such wonderful memories and traditions!

It is pretty amazing that I am now to the point where I can push "publish" on this post.  Back to being honest...this post took me well over a month to write.  I slowly chipped away at it.  I would write a little, I would download pictures, and then I would cry and promptly shut my computer.  Blogging is therapeutic to me, so I naturally thought writing about it would help, but as I look back at all of this I swear I was on auto pilot!  I don't know how else to explain it.  I was merely existing. 

For whatever reason, this move has been nothing short of hard on me.  It isn't a big surprise to those that know me that I enjoy being in control, so when we made this decision, it wasn't one that I took lightly.  As I stated above, Mike and I took months to make this decision, we didn't dive in head first, it was a very well thought out decision.  We thought of "everything;" all of the finances, the timing, the long-term gain...we thought we had covered it all.  While I knew that leaving the home that we came home to as Mr. & Mrs., the home we brought our little girl home to, the home we lost Baxter in, and so many other memories, would be hard...I never anticipated just how hard it really would be or how much value I placed on the word "home."  Insert the emotions!

As things have settled down and I have worked through those emotions, I still miss our house on Hemlock, but what I realize is that I miss the ease that living there for 7 years provided us.  It was a fantastic home, one that I was proud to call mine, it had become a big part of our story! 

And as I write this we are busy starting the next chapter of our story...in our new home!

Making new memories!

Exploring her new playhouse!

The important things in life!